First dentist trip in about 2-3 years = 2 minor cavities and a receding gum line on three teeth. Oh, and don't eat or drink for 30 minutes + some visible goo on my teeth = don't brush your teeth for three hours. And don't brush like you were taught... no circular motion; simply brush away from your gums only using a soft or extra soft brush. "We love baking soda," say the dentists. Baking soda is gross - tastes gross, feels gross, and is gross. Tartar build up? I haven't had fish recently, sir! Oh, that's tartar sauce - which is gross as well. My worst dental experience? I don't think I've ever had a bad one, but thank you for asking. Oh man! Sweet sunglasses. Apparently now you're concerned about my eyes, staring into that bright lamp of yours. Well, the glasses are really 1980s and I LOVE them. Also, thank you for the poster of a lion on the ceiling. I counted grass blades.